Cantonese Counselling in Burnaby, Canada
As an immigrant, Sam understands the struggles of people from China and Hong Kong to find a counsellor / therapist who speaks native Chinese.
Even though we move to a completely different place with a view to starting a new life, we can still face challenges and struggles that may be difficult for others to fully understand. We may sometimes have to explain over and over our cultural values to ensure others to understand us, while the conversation would somewhat feel disconnected and misunderstood.
Sam provides a culturally comfortable and familiar space where you don’t have to repeatedly spend time and effort explaining your cultural values, experiences, or perspectives. Instead, you can feel connected from the start, allowing us to talk naturally and explore what truly matters to you on a deeper level.
How unqiue about Chinese Culture?
- To understand how Chinese Counselling -
1. 'Fix Things'
We tend to fix things, and we don't like waiting.
Not everyone grows up being taught to “fix things,” and not everyone identifies with this way to solve problems in life. But many Chinese people do.
We grow up with the belief that problems should be solved right away, and we bottle up our feelings and should keep moving forward. It could be very difficult for us to simply pause, acknowledge how we feel, and allow ourselves to be supported.
2. Different ways to commuicate emotions
Chinese people are quite often described as 'avoiding emotions,' or 'people pleasing,' or 'self-sacrifice' to cope with stress and express love.
At face value, Chinese people may describe what happened in full detail in a very descriptive way, without explicitly naming their emotions, or appear less likely to directly express their needs and feelings. These behaviors present in counselling may often be easily interpreted as emotional avoidance, distraction from pain, or super-reasoning coping style.
I actually doubt. For me, instead of jumping into a conclusion that Chinese people are 'just talking about facts,' and avoidant, during counselling, I often wonder: what does this person try to commuicate to me right now?
Throughout my years of working with Chinese people as a registered clinical counsellor who grows up from the Chinese background, I have come to strongly believe that our cultural experiences quietly shape the way we think, behave, express ourselves, and connect with others. These patterns can be deeply rooted, but they may not always look the way our textbooks teach us to expect.
3. Collectivism, Family
In Canada, individualism is often recognized as an important cultural value. From a young age, children are encouraged to do things independently, receive tons of positive encouragement, in order to develop a sense of self-confidence, and make their own decisions. Self-esteem is often associated with becoming increasingly independent and learning to rely on oneself.
Chinese culture, on the other hand, has traditionally placed greater value on collectivism, family-based, where relationships, family, interdependence, and consideration for others play an important role. These differences in cultural values can quietly shape how we understand children’s development, how we parent, and how we support children as they learn to understand themselves and the world around them.
For many Chinese people living in Canada, navigating these two cultural perspectives can be difficult to put into words, and dramatically influence our daily life and how we relate ourselves to others. We may find ourselves trying to “blend in” with the community while still carrying values and ways of relating that feel deeply familiar to us. This can leave us feeling caught between two worlds.
Other people may interpret this cultural value as 'over dependence.' Even though we able to participate socially, but still feeling disconnected in moments that require a deeper, heart-to-heart connection.
4. "FAST" is a way of living
Being fast can mean being productive, efficient, responsive, and effective. Instead of waiting to complete a task tomorrow, what about just to finish it NOW? We are always ready for solving problems that come to our life without notice.
In Canada, however, this way of being may sometimes be interpreted as "anxiety" or as a sign of "an activated nervous system". The interpretation is often right. But with my years of Chinese counselling and mental health services with Chinese community, I also find myself asking: What if this is simply a way of living?
What if moving quickly, responding quickly, and wanting things to be done efficiently is not necessarily something that needs to be adjusted or changed? Instead of abruptly asking the individual to slow down, I am more curious about - what if it is part of how a person has learned to navigate the world, shaped by their culture, experiences, and values?
Rather than immediately asking, “How can we regulate this?” I believe it can be more meaningful to first ask, “What does this 'Fast' of being mean to this person?”
Cantonese Counselling
Sam Lam,
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Sam Lam is the founder and owner of Sam L. Counselling, who specializes in supporting people to have a private and emotionally safe space to navigate anxiety, depression, relationship and social difficulties, and other life challenges. Sam has clinical experiences working in secondary schools with youth and families, and domestic violence center in Hong Kong to heal trauma for children, youth, and adults.
Sam is passionate about children and relationship counselling psychology. Following his dedication and commitment, he was also worked in childcare centers and the homeless youth shelter to dive into deeper understanding of how cultures shape the development of children and families.
Qualification
Master's Degree in Counselling
BCACC Registered Clinical Counsellor
AEDP Level 3
Canadian Association for Play Therapy - Professional Membership