What does "Healing" mean?
There are thousands of versions of answers to this question,
while I believe that aloneness is always the gas that fuels our pain and trauma.
According to AEDP Institute, undoing aloneness is the key to creating a emotionally connected relationship with people to process difficult emotional and relational experiences.
We may often have the crazy bravery to do something without people physically present. But connection isn't just about physical presence. It's actually emotional.
People are inherently social animals. We may see people who can do things independently, but we cannot ignore the fact that — even when there are no actual people around, people can still become emotionally involved with an object. We may have seen in TV shows and movies.
Building a connection with a therapist is hugely different from talking to a friend, parent, or lover. A therapist helps people see things that they may have no clue about or may not even be aware of. They could be feelings, patterns, how emotions emerge, how a person relates oneself with another one, underlying needs that the person finds it hard to put in words. These patterns and ways of communicating are impacting the person unconsciously.
Just being aware of the "cycles" does not immediately mean "healing".
The healing comes from the therapeutic relationship — starting to feel safe, to trust a stranger, to co-create a safe space where both feel emotionally connected, to deeply process difficult emotional and relational experiences, to see the "true self" emerging, and therefore, to build a stronger internal strengths and resources that the person can carry for the whole life.
This is what we call 'resources' - the unforgetable moment of emotional connection.
We remember, and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.
Mental Health
According to American Psychological Association, mental heath is defined as "A state of mind characterized by emotional well-being, good behavioral adjustment, relative freedom from anxiety and disabling symptoms, and a capacity to establish constructive relationships and cope with the ordinary demands and stresses of life."
To put it simply, people who have what we may call "perfect mental health" do not mean they always stay positive, while those people may have a greate emotional resiliance - being able to be aware of oneself's behaviors, feelings, and thoughts at the moment, and feeling comfortable to sit with the discomfort - such as anxiety, to manifest meaningful relationships with people and mindfully respond to difficult situations in life.
We need to bear in mind that mental health manifestes in different forms based on the diversity of cultural backgrounds, unique ways of emotional expression, and how people stay connected with each other.
— How Much Do We Understand? —
Depression, Aggression, swearing, impulsivity, fidgeting, and other challenging behaviours.
Iimpact of traumatic / highly stressful experiences
Anxiety, fears, phobias, excessive worry, perfectionism, obsessive thoughts etc.
Friendships, bully,
social experiences, boundaries, conflict, and communication.
Setting healthy boundaries around screen time.
Anger outbursts
Self-Esteem and Confidence
Self-acceptance, respect, choice, and appropriate agency.
Immigration, changes in family life or routines, moving, and other transitions.
Our Therapist — About Sam
Sam Lam, MSSC, RCC
Sam is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in Burnaby. with over 10 years of experience supporting children, youth, and adults.
Sam brings a warm, compassionate, and emotionally attuned presence to his work. Through his own past experiences of feeling misunderstood and alone, Sam understands how painful it can be to carry these feelings, and he has worked through these experiences in his own life. This allows him to meet people with genuine empathy and emotional attunement, helping them feel less alone while creating space to process difficult emotions and develop new, healing experiences.
He offers counselling in both English and Cantonese and has advanced training in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), including AEDP Level 3.
Sam receives ongoing child counselling and play therapy training and superivisions to professionally support children with a variety of emotional and behavioral challenges.
Sam supports youth and their caregivers to navigate needs of independence and nurture healthier parent-child relationship for meaningfu growth.
On top of patience and non-judgemental listening, Sam also has over 10 years working with individuals coming from different places with different cultural background. Sam is very open-minded and adaptable to accept each individual's style of emotional expressions.